Cyberbullying

When parents think about bullies, they might imagine a mean kid on the playground or a tough guy waiting around the corner; however, their children could have a completely different idea. These days, some of the biggest bullies may never be seen nor heard. Worst of all, these bullies have the ability to engage in "electronic bashing" twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Cyberbullying, just as physical bullying, involves intimidating, humiliating and overpowering others. Instead of using fists and spoken words, cyberbullies establish power electronically through e-mails, cell phones, text messages and instant messages (IM). They can be vicious, and they are everywhere!

In 2004, i-SAFE, a non-profit foundation whose mission is to educate and empower youth to engage in safe and responsible Internet use, conducted a national survey of 1,500 4th–8th graders. Results suggest that cyberbullying has become one of the most pervasive problems facing youth.

• 42% of kids indicated they have been bullied while online.
• 35% of kids reported having been threatened online.
• 58% of kids stated they have had mean/hurtful things sent to them online.
• 53% of kids admitted to having sent something mean/hurtful online to another.
• 58% of kids said they have not told an adult about the mean/hurtful online comments.

The goal of cyberbullies is to gain power and control over another person whom they perceive as weak and vulnerable. While the intent is the same, cyberbullying differs from physical bullying in several key ways. First, it is more difficult to observe because many youth have nearly continuous access to electronic communication, at all hours of the day. Next, hurtful and damaging messages can be sent to a huge audience at the same time. Third, it is possible for the bully to remain unknown, especially if kids are reluctant to tell an adult. Finally, the aggressor can attack almost anywhere, often at home, which was once a safe haven. Cyberbullying promotes isolation, school avoidance, anxiety, and depression. It can also lead to physical fighting and retribution, or in extreme cases, suicide, or even murder.

The best deterrents of cyberbullying are education and parent involvement. Often, parents are not as comfortable as their children are with electronic social networking; and, many parents do not monitor their child's use of Internet and cell phones. Learning how to interact appropriately through electronic means is an important aspect of social skills education. Parents need to model for their children appropriate electronic communication and discuss safe Internet use. Parental awareness and monitoring of the friends, activities, and interests of their children also decreases the risk of problems. However, if cyberbullying occurs, parents can encourage their youth to:

• Refuse to pass along any messages that are cruel or demeaning.
• Tell an adult, parent or school staff about the bullying.
• Refuse to open or read messages from cyberbullies and block the bully's messages.
• Resist erasing the messages, as they may be needed to take action.
• Tell any friend who is cyberbullying…to STOP.
• Think about the possible consequences before clicking SEND.

While access to electronic communication and the Internet can be tremendous learning tools when monitored and used appropriately, they also pose risks to children and youth. Educating children about appropriate and safe use of these tools is the best way to reduce the likelihood of harm. Parents need to monitor use of electronic devices, talk with their children about the potential risks, and listen carefully if their child comes to them with a concern. Additional guidance and instruction in the appropriate use of computers for research and learning can be provided by teachers at school. Together parents and teachers can offer encouragement and support to help students be safe, informed learners.